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42 Next Friday

Old 07-09-2020, 04:54 PM
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42 Next Friday

Hoping my 42nd birthday will be a catalyst for change!
i have tried AA, tried praying on my knees to god, I have tried everything and nothing works.
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Old 07-09-2020, 05:14 PM
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Make it a new start, a new year and a new beginning.

Nor sure what you mean when you say you've tried everything - I'm not seen you do much more than try not to drink by gritting you teeth.

did you try the steps in AA and finish them?
what about other methods like SMART or lifering, or Rational Recovery?

Have you seen a doctor or a counsellor? tried outpatient or inpatient rehab?

They might not be attractive options to you tight now but at least some of those I'm sure you haven't tried.

If you want some input about SR - to be honest I don't think you've used it very well cos, not always, but you do tend to post here after you've started drinking - you could get a lot more out of the community if you used it more proactively ....

so maybe its worth reconsidering your approach to other methods too?

D
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Old 07-09-2020, 05:25 PM
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I used to grit my teeth too. It never worked, always finished up caving.

Ultimately the drinking sessions and their aftermath were far too horrible, and I realised I didn't want to touch the stuff ever again. Wanted sobriety more than I wanted to drink.

Drinking is not what it's cracked up to be in my opinion. Living a productive life has so much more going for it.

I hope you find this freedom.
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Old 07-09-2020, 05:28 PM
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Thank you for your reply DEE you always rise above every negative emotion and have such an honest and genuine want to help people. I want to thank you for that.

I have phoned the AA helpline and someone from my area will contact me tomorrow! I will let you know how I get on!
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Old 07-09-2020, 05:45 PM
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I'm pretty sure you'll find good people at AA. And they have a sincere desire to help you get sober. When they help others, it helps them too. In order to keep it, you've got to give it away.
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Old 07-09-2020, 05:59 PM
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Wishing you the best Stable

D
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Old 07-09-2020, 06:00 PM
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I was not able to quit this long until I was having major health issues.

My bp was 200/120 after my binges. I could feel my eyes pulsing. My eyes were deep red after drinking.

I had fierce agoraphobia for over 3 years. I could have easily gotten anti meds of all types, but I chose to suffer. It was horrible.

I could go on and on. I hope the internal scars from my drinking days stay fresh and open. I can not survive a relapse. I will almost certainly have a stroke within a year.

SR posts help keep the hell off relapse etc. Fresh.

That being said, it is kind of part of a recovery process to offer my experience at least.

if one thing I say helps someone quit drinking for one more day, it is well worth it.

Thanks.
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Old 07-09-2020, 06:42 PM
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Happy Birthday Stable. It sounds like you have a great goal for the coming year. I hope you can turn a corner and get your health back. Maybe get a journal and make a commitment to write each day for 365 days until you turn 43. Each day write down a benefit of sobriety and a consequence of drinking. Use it as a start to explore how you want to live.

None of us have ever tried everything. Don't stop searching for your answers. There is a way you can stop drinking and be sober for good. Think of having the next 42 years to spend healthy and well. What would you fill those years with? Now you get to do it.
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Old 07-09-2020, 11:23 PM
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Like most I have relapsed so many times. I now have a family that hold me accountable. Each time I slip I try something new and uncomfortable to add more tools to make a quit stick. A big one that was uncomfortable was getting a therapist. I have 0 desire to go to rehab but if I had to chose between my family and rehab I just might do it. Bottom line. Never stop trying to quit and learn from each slip and try something new until you get it because you will.
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Old 07-10-2020, 07:51 PM
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Hoping my 42nd birthday will be a catalyst for change!

That would be great, but "hope" is not a strategy. And in my experience, calendar milestones come and go and unless there is significant action taken on your part, #42 will ultimately be just another day.

I remember when I was going to quit
drinking at 34 because my wife was pregnant with our first child. Then I moved the goal posts to age 35. And then 36 and then 37 and . . . It took an unexpected visit to detox at the ER at 46 to get me to take some serious action. And even then, I resisted and tried to think my way out of my drinking problem. After a few more years, and on the brink of possibly losing stuff, like my marriage, my job, my health, my self respect, etc. I finally put everything I had into getting and staying sober.
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