Honestly Tatsy I can stop. I just want the one clear day and that will give me a long sober period. I don't like being drunk, I just don't like leaving the warm. I find it difficult to get out of it. Drinking is like denying reality. I know that every second of drinking is really not being alive. People who are happy to be drunk are like pigs wallowing in filth - no offence to pigs.
So what does it take to get me sober? Well the first day is willpower. After that, well I need to, either replace it with something else or replace myself with someone else. I don't want to live a life like someone else I might see. It's not that I don't want to, it's not that there's nothing greater, it's just that it's not possible. So what do I do? I'm not going to find an all consuming interest. What I need to do is to die, I mean die to myself. I must get rid of all pleasure and comfort. I'm serious Tatsy. Spare and sparse, bleak and bare.
Surrendered19, thankyou and lessgravity, thankyou. I am indeed honoured.