Well, that's all pretty depressing isn't it. I'm sorry you keep getting hurt.
I am really glad you took the time to provide that update, this situation is very common with alcoholics and your posts are really helpful to many.
You know about the whole money thing, yes, people told you but sometimes we have to experience it, so I get that. No one here has a crystal ball but they do have experience in what you are experiencing. Is he manipulative, yes, it would seem so. Does he do this maliciously or does it just come naturally to him now, who can say?
When you live that type of lifestyle, like any rather negative lifestyle, you have to build defenses and you have to build a way of getting along, what those are depend on your integrity and boundaries etc, of course, apparently his walls are high and his integrity is challenged.
What all that means, of course, is you can't really believe him. However - when he tells you that you shouldn't take those drunken calls or at the very least know they are BS, please believe him, he's telling you the truth. Now, while some parts of that may turn out to be the truth, drunk or sober, you can't really trust his intent because firstly, he is ALL over the place (I doubt he even knows what he is doing) and secondly, he is drunk! Thirdly he has shown you time and time again he jumps from place to place and is not trustworthy.
Many people would not have taken your money, many would say, ok I got here, I either get out of this or that's done and dusted, goodbye house, not him, he took your money when offered. I truly hope he pays you back, but I surely wouldn't count on it.
Perhaps the "wife" is part of his - story - she saves him from ever having to make a commitment of any type, again, he is all over the place. The guy does need help for sure but no help that you can give him, unfortunately.