Lpg, I'm glad you're here talking about this stuff.
I'd like to suggest (hope you don't mind) that you go to a meeting anyhow. Lots of people who are attending are less than fond of the format but acknowledge it's so much better than no meetings at all.
If your hatred of video meetings is about seeing yourself on camera, you can choose to have the camera off. If it's about seeing everyone else in this peculiar talking heads way, you can simply not look at the screen - or dial in instead of Zooming in. Finally, if it's about the people, you have choices! You could attend the meetings you would normally go to in person, or you can randomly pick a meeting in a far-away place where you're certain to know no one.
I don't know about you, but I've had to do lots of things I "hate" to do in order to support and further my own well-being. Some of those things turned out to be more beneficial than I could have ever imagined. In some cases, thinking through my objections was helpful and other times simply acting anyhow (without regard to my resistance) was just the ticket.
Thank you for posting. It's helped me to feel less alone.
O