Originally Posted by
Bekindalways 
Heya Maddoc, sorry again that this happened.
It is often advised to come up with a plan. What are you going to do to keep yourself away from this guy? What will you do if you get a craving to call him? Think about what caused you to cave this last time and try to avoid those behaviors/situations?
This is super tough stuff here. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Thanks...I appreciate the support and acknowledgement that this is difficult. My girlfriends just keep saying block him, move on, you deserve better and will find someone better easily. They don’t get that...SOMETHING drew me to him...and still does. That is something I need to figure out to break this pattern. It’s also as someone else posted a “morbid fascination”—-not just with him per se but that there are people like this...I have lived a sheltered life and could never have imagined myself in this situation or tolerating this. And yeah, I care about him—-or the version of him when he isn’t ********* drunk.
He hasn’t contacted me since I left his house Monday morning. And I am ashamed to say, it makes me sad! And wonder if he hasn’t because he has already moved on or is spending the time with someone else. Being so easily replaced is a crappy feeling, no matter how much I tell myself he isn’t worthy of me anyway. My friends (& it seems you all here) are positive he will reach out again, but I personally think he is done with me (he is desperate for $$ for the house), so I haven’t even thought of what to do or how to handle if he calls. Probably should.