Jeff, you don't need to be a good guy or not a good guy in order to get sober, stay sober and make change.
the important thing is to not get stuck in "i am this and therefore i will always be this" .
don't know how you feel about AA, but that is one program designed for exactly this:" I have made a mess of my life and I have no one to blame other than me. I have broken dreams and I have broken hearts (my own being one of them) and I am ashamed of all of it. I don't know what to do."