Lpg, thank you for your kind words. Before the tragedies happened, even though I was content in sobriety, I occasionally had the 'thought' that I could moderate, return to social drinking, enhance a meal, relaxing after a physical day, or exercise etc., with a couple of glasses of wine, or a beer. But those 'thoughts' were just my AV, the same AV that suggested I could ease my sorrow with a moderate amount, was the same AV that suggested I could heighten a happy event. My AV lies.
I'm so glad you posted and hope you continue.