Originally Posted by
Surrendered19 
Awesome post Buckley. Thanks so much. That one is going into The File to be read again and again.
One of the most painful parts of the last 6 months has been the realization that I just didn't have any core values, never examined the best ways to live life and just bumped my way to 54 years drinking, lying and spreading chaos and misery. It has been a painful realization but nevertheless, I have more peace now than I have had in my entire life. I try every day now to do something, take some action, that I can be proud of.
The reality is that I simply couldn't think the last 3 decades because I was always drunk, confused, hung over and dying.
Life is so good now. Not perfect by any stretch, but now I can see things coming my way and deal with them calmly and in an adult-like fashion. New things for me.
Many thanks to you all with long term sobriety who give your time and energy to newbies like me. You have no idea how much it helps.
<div><br></div><div>Fantastic stuff. Very real. <img src="https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/c011.gif" border="0" class="inlineimg" alt="0" smilieid="845">I'm often astounded when I look back how much alcohol dominated even my sober moments. I mean, sure, the drunk thing and the hang overs and all the direct issues were terrible, but it was the indirect stuff - the wasted energy presenting myself to others, the rationalizing to myself, carrying the baggage of the downstream financial and health effects. I spent every bit of my waking energy - drunk or not - managing alcohol. And for 30 years I just thought it was the immediate stuff....</div><div><br></div><div>-B</div>