Checking in - Hi!
I hope everyone is holding up ok. These are certainly challenging times and I can imagine life with an active alcoholic in quarantine have to be extremely difficult. I was recently thinking about it, how life would be were I still with my XAbf. How it would have brought an entirely new slew of problems were we to be stuck at home together. I feel my own desires to drink more than usual these days, though I've never been a problematic drinker, surfacing out of boredom so my thoughts are that this might be an especially hard time for an addict. I was poking around the various threads to see how those have been impacted by quarantine. I know it is hard. So much idle time. I think about my ex every now and then, not in a longing way, but I do catch myself wondering from afar how he is holding up. Always praying for strength and goodness for him whether he deserves it or not. This is a hard time in and of itself, we don't need it to be any harder.<div><br><div><br><div>As for my own life I am just going through it as best as I can. I go in and out of waves of grief, and some weeks seem to be bad compared to others. Some weeks though, like this one, I think about it without much pain and can move onto the next thought. I busy myself with my work and count my blessings to have it during these tough times. I try not to spend too much time in the darkness as I've learned it can be hard to crawl out from underneath it once there. On top of my pre-covid grief is the same grief everyone else is experiencing now. I long for joy again. I can't go too far back into the photos on my phone or else I feel pain from nostalgia. But I hope to be back there soon to the photos where I recall my joy. Real genuine happiness. I miss those moments. </div><div><br></div><div>For now I find small joys in small things. My dog sleeping next to me, or Mad Men episodes on netflix with the lights off late at night. I take it one day at a time for than ever these days. How is everyone else?</div></div></div>