Smarie78

I hope everyone is holding up ok. These are certainly challenging times and I can imagine life with an active alcoholic in quarantine have to be extremely difficult. I was recently thinking about it, how life would be were I still with my XAbf. How it would have brought an entirely new slew of problems were we to be stuck at home together. I feel my own desires to drink more than usual these days, though I've never been a problematic drinker, surfacing out of boredom so my thoughts are that this might be an especially hard time for an addict. I was poking around the various threads to see how those have been impacted by quarantine. I know it is hard. So much idle time. I think about my ex every now and then, not in a longing way, but I do catch myself wondering from afar how he is holding up. Always praying for strength and goodness for him whether he deserves it or not. This is a hard time in and of itself, we don't need it to be any harder.<div><br><div><br><div>As for my own life I am just going through it as best as I can. I go in and out of waves of grief, and some weeks seem to be bad compared to others. Some weeks though, like this one, I think about it without much pain and can move onto the next thought. I busy myself with my work and count my blessings to have it during these tough times. I try not to spend too much time in the darkness as I've learned it can be hard to crawl out from underneath it once there. On top of my pre-covid grief is the same grief everyone else is experiencing now. I long for joy again. I can't go too far back into the photos on my phone or else I feel pain from nostalgia. But I hope to be back there soon to the photos where I recall my joy. Real genuine happiness. I miss those moments.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>For now I find small joys in small things. My dog sleeping next to me, or Mad Men episodes on netflix with the lights off late at night. I take it one day at a time for than ever these days. How is everyone else?</div></div></div>

Wombaticus

It's gruelling. I'm sitting on the top step of the stairs that lead to the basement below rock bottom. Marriage over, kid depressed. At least the weather is good. Lol<div>I suspect the end of the isolation will signal the start of a new road to travel with its own challenges.</div><div>I'm glad to hear you are moving forward!! Really pleased to hear the pain diminishes over time.</div>

Bekindalways

So very good to hear from you Smarie.&nbsp;<div><br></div><div>As a depressive, I often feel I do better with sadness than happiness. &nbsp; All things considered, I'm doing pretty well. &nbsp;My afternoons are usually tough as they almost always are with the depression.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>My Dad was supposed to move out of his independent living apartment and into a nursing home; however we decided this was not a time to start communal living for a senior. &nbsp;Consequently, I am taking care of him. &nbsp;He is a great guy and it is kind of a special time together.</div>

Ariesagain

I was just thinking about you last night! And wondering how you are...<div><br></div><div>Sounds like you’re handling it all as well as you can and I am glad for you. Thanks for the update!</div><div><br></div><div><img src="https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" border="0" class="inlineimg" alt="0" smilieid="353"><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

Ariesagain

Trying again?<div><br></div><div>So glad to hear from you and that you’re okay.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div><img src="https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" border="0" class="inlineimg" alt="0" smilieid="353"><br></div>

Smarie78

Hmm I don't know what is going on with the forum but seems like there are some errors happening. I am glad to hear from everyone and I am sorry Womb for the difficulties. The isolation and virus have really seemed to add a massive layer to what we may have been struggling with before.<div><br></div><div>Bekind - I think that makes sense not to move your father just yet, though I am sure that comes with its own set of difficulties.&nbsp;</div><div><br></div><div>Hang in there everyone...<img src="https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" border="0" class="inlineimg" alt="0" smilieid="353"></div>

PuzzledHeart

Well amidst all these HTML tags I'm so glad you dropped in to say hello. I was just thinking of you the other day as well.
It's funny how you mention how you can only go back so far... Shows about NYC make me feel so sad. I lived there for a good portion of my life, and have so many good memories of that place. One day I sat on a park bench and just talked to whomever sat next to me. I just loved those random interactions, and it will take a while before they can happen again. That said, I try my best to take part in the Zoom sessions that have spontaneously sprouted amongst friends and acquaintances. It's not the same, but it will do for now and it certainly has its own delights.
And Mad Men is one of my favorite shows ever. EVER.

Eauchiche

Hi Smarie!!!Always so good to hear from you.I am still working, since they consider my job "essential," plus I have my home business on the side selling orchid plants on Ebay.I miss church and restaurants.I think we are all "retooling" in ways to cope with this pandemic.Stay safe!!!