Perhaps it may help to know that part of forgiveness is time.
7 odd years ago (when I joined SR), I could not have imagined forgiving myself for the things that I did in my drinking years.
Every day sober makes a difference. Life on a different level as the people we wanted to be (and truly are) changes us.....we begin to like and love ourselves. We begin to be able to look back with love to the 'us' who caused harm because we were ill and not behaving as ourselves. xxx