Lola, I'm thrilled that I came across your thread! For me it was years before I took step 4 and I realised my life before and during my drinking was ordinary by some people's standard. I don't conduct formal step 10s but try and review a few salient issues every couple of days - am I getting screwed up about other people's affairs, am I still fearful about my past and if I am, do I just accept my emotion or does it "make" me act weird.
I define "higher" power my way (I've stated it in other posts) but that's just me. I learned the hard way I have to recover as an agnostic. My agnostic way of living helps me take what is around me on its own terms as much as or if I want, or leave it.
None of the other people in the rooms know what their "yets" are going to be, either. A day at a time. Today was wonderful and sober.