Amh, sometimes our strifes are just "strangely wrapped gifts" when we look back in hindsight years later.
My son cut all contact for about 13 years (I stopped counting at about 10) and I just heard from a 3rd party last fall that he was trying to find me (we moved twice) and would I contact him? After much thought about how it was then and how it is now...and the fact I learned that he had just been released from prison and was living with his lady prison liaison counselor *red flags everywhere*, I told them I wanted 6 months to think about it and decide through his actions, not words, if he had remained clean this 6 months at least. I found out, not long ago that he indeed had returned to old habits and was using again.
Well that circus just left town for me, I was glad I had given it time. No way will I return to sharing a life with addiction. I have grieved a long time, I had no idea where he was or if he was still alive. I pray for him each day, and still do, that he finds a better path. And then I leave the rest in God's hands, and live my life in peace, finding joy and beauty in each day.
I share this because I know it is painful to make good choices sometimes, it took me years to get a good solid base of recovery that would see me through all the difficult times in my life. I will not give that up for anyone or anything. Me and God and my recovery friends have walked a long way together, and I am staying on my path glad for the journey.