Hey everyone,
2 weeks into lockdown here in NZ and the number of cases recovered is higher than new cases which is encouraging. My work life is absolutely insane and there is so much stress among teachers as they frantically try to prepare and I am doing a lot of listening to anxious staff, parents and children as this new reality takes hold.
Things with my son have been rough, he becomes overwhelmed by the lockdown and has literally screaming rages which can become violent towards me and himself. The emergency zoom meeting with his psychiatrist meant we have changed his medication, but so far it has not made much difference. A friend of mind who is a neuroscientist talked about changes to the human brain in adults who are in home detention and how it can take time for people to settle in, so I am hoping he will turn a corner soon. We are of course both gutted our trip to NY will not go ahead and desperately worried about our family there.
@PS sorry to hear about how your boss is reacting. I guess at the moment none of us really knows the pressure and anxiety that is going in in anyone’s life and that is getting in the way of people being their best selves. Well done for reacting with your characteristic grace and recognising that perhaps quietly stepping away is the best approach.
I totally hear you about the call of alcohol, I was doing fine and it was just a whisper, but it has turned up the volume this week and is trying to seep in with ‘would the occasional drink really matter just in lockdown’ kind of thoughts. I think too there are just so many references to ‘wine o’clock’ and people having virtual happy hours as a way of coping that it is more in my face than usual and there is that old sense of being denied something positive that existed at the start of this sober journey. I continue to play the tape forward and remind myself that swallowing a carcinogenic, poison that will damage my immune system is not the right solution to a pandemic. Now I just need to learn to step.away.from.the.fridge.
NL I am sorry things are so tough with your husband at the moment. As part of the wellbeing checks on families I am doing I am hearing from a lot of women about how poorly their partners are handling being home with the kids fulltime. There are a lot of stressors on women, many of whom are working from home too, to also be the primary caregiver for children in lockdown and it is creating a lot of marital tension.
Screentime addiction is a battle with my son too. At 18 we are calling lockdown ‘flatmate training’ there are 3 rooms in our house that are ‘his’ (bedroom, spare room & a bathroom). He has to clean and tidy them before any screentime is allowed. He has to help cook a meal every second night with the aim that as the weeks progress he will cook them independently and I am paying him to walk our dog for at least an hour. We also have family screentime where we watch something together or play a video game together, just to get that social connection going. He is still on his screen far too much, but I am working long hours at home and there are limited options.
We had our second movie night where we watched It part 2 (his choice of course) it is really helping to have these ‘treats’ as part of the weekend, just to feel a break in the routine. The next movie is my choice!
NC I am so pleased you are able to be with your horse, animal welfare is essential for them, but also for us I think. Our new rescue dog has been my main motivator for getting out for a good walk everyday and it does help, their sweet trust and lack of awareness of what is going on can be quite grounding.
Kia kaha everyone