Originally Posted by
Wastinglife 
I can sober up for long periods of time. Longest about 10 months. I always relapse. I am very impulsive and live with a lot of stressors. People sometimes sabotage my sobriety when their actions put stress on me. I don't know how to make it stick. Guess I like being drunk more than sober....
Life often looked like this, external events and people causing my drinking. But it wasn't true, just a convenient and sometime plausible excuse.
What made the difference was the willingness to do what I had been previously unwilling to do, to bring an end to the misery. I went through a process if you like which resulted in:
A change of personality sufficient to overcome alcoholism.
And a profound alteration in my reaction to life.
Both of these, you will note, are internal. 40 years down the track with all that life has sent my way, and yet nothing external has had the power to make me even consider a drink. Quite miraculous really.