Originally Posted by miss communicat
Hey Scotty,
Yes...we can't be drunks if we are drinking "quality" beeer and wine, right? That logic carried me for about 16 years. Till 1 week ago today.
I had a deal: I would only drink French wine that cost more than $35 a bottle, because the other ones gave me a hangover. Then, because I am in a high profile position in a small New England community, I couldnt just go out to drink every night, so I took myself out to eat dinner every night, as an excuse to get some wine. And the only places that served these fine wines charge a fortune. So, my drunkenness aside, finances became an issue (needless to say) because of my compulsion to drink the great wines of France every day. Now, I am an intelligent professional person, in the top of my field, too. Addiction is non-discriminatory.
I've been to 2 AA meetings so far. Each one was very different. Being agnostic I had a hard time with the punitive Christian tone in one of them, but I loved the other group, so I will go back there.
It helps to keep talking.........and listening.
MC
Yes, of course we weren't drunks if you had to pay through the nose for it. My ex-wife was even better at rationalizing that one away (we split for other reasons, but I sure our duel alcoholism/enabling helped). We both worked in restaurants (actually, I worked as a teacher, bartender, golf coach, horseback riding coordinator and waiter for 5 months straight without a day off, all while hitting it hard), and the restaurant culture is highly inducive to drinking and spending too much.
Once I tried to tell her I wanted to stop, and she just blew me off, probably because it would have made her confront her problem. Man, I wish I had stuck to it then--10 years ago. Well, no use looking backward.
I looked at the 12 steps yesterday and had a very uneasy feeling as I'm a devout atheist. I noticed they had a chapter to agnostics, but not to atheists. I'll have to search for something suited to my needs.
Well, back to work and then the clinic after. Keep your fingers crossed.