I, for one, can identify with what you are feeling. Things have gotten much better for me, but I felt almost exactly like you for probably the first couple years of recovery.
I also felt frustrated with advice that people gave me when I asked for help. It felt like I came from a different planet or something. People would throw around cliches like "learn to love yourself", which I didn't find helpful. Maybe people didn't know what to say and thoight that sounded good. If you ask ten people what it means to "love yourself" you will get ten different answers. How would I even know if I loved myself or not?
I slept with every girl that would have me in AA/NA for the first 18 months, and I sleep well at night guilt-free. Despite everyone's fire and brimstone warnings I didn't even think about drinking over it. I would point out that I told the girls upfront exactly what I was looking for. I didn't lie and manipulate them. That period helped me get some experience interacting with women sober. There were ups and down and I eventually stopped because of the emotional pain of the down periods.
The thing that has really helped me has been going to the gym. I started going because the last girl left me and I didn't want to feel that way again. I have been consistently going for 3 years now and it has done wonders for me. Before I felt invisible and now I get looks a good amount of times when I am out.
The thing is that I haven't felt that same need for a relationship at some point along the way. That definitely wasn't my goal when I started. I still have days when I feel lonely, but it isn't anywhere as painful as it was. I am kind of at the point where I don't see the point of a relationship. If I am fine by myself what would be the point of getting in a relationship anyway?
This is all just my personal experience. I am not trying to lecture you or tell you what to do. If you honestly want a relationship you probably shouldn't follow in my footsteps anyway. But ya, you aren't alone with your feelings. I know a lot of men from the rooms that have felt that same way too a certain points, but they rarely talk about it openly. Most of the guys I know that felt that way were able to find a relationship or come to peace with the situation. Except for the ones that relapsed of course.