Forgetting Why I Quit
Hi everyone. I haven't drank in 31 days and I feel pretty good. I am clear-headed, energetic, less anxious and more present than I was while drinking. But the last few days have been mentally challenging (or triggering, I suppose) because I went on "staycation" with my wife to the beach.
The weather was beautiful and the restaurants/bars on the promenade were packed with people sipping beers and laughing. I instantly felt deprived and spent the rest of the weekend trying to remember why I stopped drinking. I got through it but can't shake the feeling that I want to drink.
In hindsight it's obvious I should have avoided the trip, but just days ago I felt full of energy for my newly sober life and couldn't imagine drinking again. Now I can't stop thinking about it.
Perhaps I should amend the title of this thread to "forgetting what it felt like before I quit" because, in truth, I can list all of the reasons why I stopped drinking and see clearly that I made the right decision. Instead, I'm struggling to recall how bad the hangovers were, how dissatisfied I was with life and how anxious alcohol made me. Almost involuntarily, I keep rehashing the good times at barbecues, bars and beach trips.
I'm romanticizing alcohol, I know, plucking a few fun memories out of a sea of bad, but the feeling (not the idea) that drinking again would be fine is weighing me down. And my mind won't stop talking to me. It's all like "don't be stupid, it's just a drink, nothing's stopping you from simply ordering a beer, everyone's doing it, why are you so uncompromising? so strict? does it really have to be so black and white?".
Clearly, I'm craving alcohol. Any tips?