Hi Kat
Welcome to SR
All I can add and this is from personal experience of having tried for years to quit and stay quit.
What looks like the easy way, just don't drink and battle away with it is actually the incredibly hard way to do it.
What looks like the hard way to get sober, doing a program that involves steps and inventory etc, is actually the much easier way.
I haven't had a drink now for 5+ years and, added bonus, I don't have to battle away with it anymore, it's been banished and more added bonus, the same program not only removed the desire to drink, it also gave me a way to deal with all the shame and guilt and frustration etc.
Best thing I have ever done 😊
All the best for your sobriety journey 👍