Thanks as usual, Mike -
you made me think of a couple of key things.
I can't be in the "outcome" business. Ie I need to do the next right thing, make good choices, be spiritually fit and mentally engaged, etc. Other people, and the world at large, not up to me. That can be frustrating for this alcoholic, who sure wants to see certain reactions from others and results at times.
Also, you make me think about what I learned to call "emotional sobriety." To me, my disease isn't about alcohol. I've come to say it often, but I'd be an alcoholic with just a diff diagnosis if I hadn't started drinking - my brain is wired and my "self" is what it is and the rest is how I cope. Good or bad, then w alcohol and now w tools and learning and support.