Thank you HawkEye, Cityboy and others. I so appreciate your candor and empathy. My husband did quit a couple of years back (2 years sober). He wants to quit now too, but I can see it's a struggle. I have a lot to think about. Just talked with my 19 year old and he definitely does not want us to leave. He's not hurting us mom, he says and we can help him not to hurt himself. I'm so glad I don't drink. I have to ask this, what's the idea with trying to get your non-drinking spouse to drink? He'll be ;like, "I can go get you a bottle of wine if you want". I find it really funny because I only have a glass if I'm having steak at a restaurant, but even when sober , he does that. Almost seems disappointed that I don't. Some typical psychological addiction thing maybe. Anyways, reading and re-reading your ideas. Really appreciate the input.