I am sorry to hear that Wastinglife, but I know exactly a lot of what you are going through. I suffer from depression and anxiety and sometimes extreme depression and social anxiety and have been told that I have ADD and I have OCD as well. And sometimes life is very sad and depressing at times. And I have spent many Christmas times alone just because I don't want to be around anyone or family and more extreme drinking with family members at Christmas time. I totally have been in your shoes in that respect and understand.
I have never had any DWIs or DUIs but have been very lucky in that respect but I know many friends that have had not just one but multiple DUIs or DWIs.
And as far as the finance industry as you stated that you worked in, I worked for a big company dealing with billions and billions of dollars where everything is on the line and any mistake could cause millions of dollars to be lost or other issues where one is always pushing the envelope for more and more money and more millions and billions of dollars. I was in an extremely high stress, high anxiety job that could take its toll on any person. I was very good at what I did and loved my job but at the same time it was sucking the life out of me day by day.
I don't blame my job for my alcohol and cocaine addiction but as the stakes got higher and being in a company managing billions and billions of dollars you become on edge sometimes and it can get scary. I liked the pressure and stress but one can only take so much. I would leave work sometimes almost crying from the stress. So I resorted to cocaine and alcohol. And I know coworkers doing cocaine and alcohol and pills and who knows what else. And I rarely saw anybody ever really happy at my work. Just being in their offices looking miserable and stressed and on edge. I saw people at work with PTSD, ADD, OCD, bipolar disorder, and many different disorders mixed with massive alcohol use and cocaine use and pills and you name it. A functional company on the inside with dysfunction on the outside. And to be honest it wasn't worth it anymore. No matter how much money they could pay me and how good I was at my job and how great I loved my job, my health and well being is worth more than any job or money or success is worth. My life and sobriety is worth more than that.
I would rather be clean and sober and healthy and happy than be in a job that was killing me inside and leading me to become a full blown alcoholic and cocaine addict empty on the inside. Despite a good job with all of the money and luxuries and benefits of having what seemed a good life at my former job it was all just smoke and mirrors.
Being terminated at my job as depressing and sad as it was afterwards for me when I thought about it, it is probably the best thing they did for me by terminating me. If I was still at that job I may be in jail facing drunk driving or drug possession, in the hospital, or maybe even dead right now and not even be here writing this at the rate I was going with the alcohol and cocaine.
Anyways back to the job topic, I have a friend that has had DWIs, DUIs, alcohol addiction, substance addiction, and came close to losing everything. Now he is a very successful person. He told me that all of those things are not the end of the world. Getting help and in his case rehab changed his life forever. He told me that you would be surprised at just how many doors will open just being honest with people or an employer and saying hey, "I am a former alcoholic and I got treatment and just trying to get my career back on track." He said that you cannot imagine how many successful people have had alcohol or substance addiction and got their lives back and could relate to someone looking for a job at their company that went through the same or similar situation that they went through and willing to give someone a second chance.
Life is all about second chances and there is hope for all of us. No matter how bad things get they happen for a reason. And sometimes we have to get through the dark as scary as it is just to get to see some light in the end.