Welcome back Tank!!!!!
First I have a questions for you. What did you mean when you said:
"I just want to be able to lead a normal life."
Does that normal life include alcohol???
And if it doesn't then all you need to concern yourself with is RIGHT NOW. When I first got sober I could not be concerned with "OMG I'll never be able to drink again." It was "I won't drink for the next 5 minutes." Then it was "I won't drink for the next hour." And pretty soon, "I just won't drink today."
It's been a lot of "One Days At A Time" since then, they do mount up. But, Tank, I didn't do it alone. I used at first just the fellowship of AA. Going to the meetings to meet other sober people that understood what I was going through.
Let me also add, that early on I had more "bad" days than "good" days. However, I have come to find out that If I do not have bad days now and then, I will not know when I am having good days. rofl And they did even out, well actually I have a lot more good days now than bad, but it takes time. Didn't magically happen overnight for this alkie.
There are also some meetings here on line, and knowing that you work and the time difference you probably could not attend the week night meetings except for friday and saturday night which would be saturday and sunday late morning early afternoon. So come join us, and check out AA in your area in Japan.
Not know if you have access to the Big Book of AA here is where you can read it on line:
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm
Please keep posting and let us know how your are doing.
Love and (((((to all))))),