I know that anxious feeling you speak about very well. I think the push/pull dynamic of these kinds of relationships is so damaging.

I think you’ve got to ask yourself whether this relationship was meeting any of your needs? The physical distance combined with emotional distance for the most part, with some good/close moments in between.

I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling right now. It’s useful to read around here and the Friends and Family of Alcoholics subforum if you want help to understand the common patterns and dynamics in relationships with addicts. It may help to avoid the pattern repeating with this guy and your future relationships.

I’m so sorry for your pain.