I relate to career-related frustrations right now. I have a job, have worked for the same organization for >10 years now, have had numerous promotions and climbed the ladder, but am quite jaded now, not nearly as interested and motivated for the actual work as I used to be. So a lot of time everyday is spent thinking how much I want out and exploring opportunities. I also have a private business that I started in sobriety and is going pretty well but have never been 100% self-employed so far and, of course, I am afraid of the uncertainty and loss of security coming with that option, even though I am totally convinced that way of working would be more ideal for me at this point than being any kind of employee. I've been on the fence for several years now but must say now I only stay mostly out of fear (it's still a decent salary, good benefits, the organization itself is great etc). I've always been a very self-motivated person so this is definitely not ideal given also that I struggle completing projects very often due to lack of interest/motivation. Part of the situation might be that I probably have a low-grade depression (sometimes not that low actually), a level of existential angst (that I am prone to in general) and these would not be resolved with a new job or getting out of the one I no longer want in the long run, that's for sure. I think my issues with not making a definitive decision are also related to the mental state. When I am doing well, I tend to be a very decisive. proactive person and staying on the fence like this is definitely a sign something is not quite alright. I have had a tendency of going through periods like this every few years since my teens, so it is not unfamiliar, but frustrating regardless. Mine are not precipitated by conditions or events usually, sometimes it hits when everything is the best around me objectively - I think it is some form of physiological pattern and getting older certainly does not help it. Just saying all this to highlight that such a situation can be quite complex and if there are obvious culprits that make it much worse than it should be (e.g. drinking relapses, anxiety and depression that block things), that should be one of the first things to eliminate IMO. Of course you can job hunt in parallel.
I completely agree with those who say you are not unemployable, there is nothing coming across that way from your posts on this forum and I have been reading them for a while. You may be more sensitive than you like to feel and admit though and are going through periods of both struggles and successes, like pretty much everyone, whether we talk about it or not. At least you are talking about it here.
I also agree with the points that listening to your initial instincts, especially if they suggest strong negatives, can be a very good and protective choice. For me, there was only one case professionally where I made a decision to take a job (which involved an intercontinental move into an environment totally incompatible with my nature) against some very strong negative intuitions I had. I originally planned it to be only a short training period, but things quickly deteriorated and collapsed for me in that condition, pretty much in every area of my life, and then I got stuck it it way too long. I will never know for sure, but it is possible I might have never even developed the alcoholism if I had never experienced that because my drinking escalated steep during that time and took the alcoholic pattern. If I could go back in my life to before that era with more self-awareness and life experience, I definitely would not make the decision to accept that job and move there. Very possibly my current life (and my last 10 years) would also have been very different then, and there have definitely been many great things in my last 10 years, but I still would not blow my life the way I did back then with that decision - I turned all of my good plans and pretty much everything upside down with it, and for the longer run. The environment was one of the biggest factors: I am the opposite, naturally a big city person and don't like to drive/own a car. I like to have a highly stimulating environment around me, with many possibilities to do interesting things, and have high standards for culture and intellectual challenges. So when I moved to a place where there was very little to do, I had to drive everyday, empty streets everywhere except in some isolated small areas and otherwise just vehicles and people inside buildings, a very homogenous culture and generally mellow community attitude far from the intellectual level and ambition I am used to and need to be happy, it became utterly destructive, and quickly. On top, I quickly found out I hated the job, my workplace, didn't even like most of my colleagues. So my initial instincts were 100% correct but my conscious decision with a compromise 100% inappropriate, unless we consider the factor that we as humans can grow from hardship and bad decisions.
Looking for work can be quite intimidating in the current climate but, unless you have the means to afford not to work and are fine with that, I doubt there is any other way for most of us. Just keep searching, trying and consider a complex variety of factors you want to have in your life to feel satisfied. Some compromises can be good, and I absolutely do not think wanting a good income is shallow. But not at the cost of negatively compromising basic comfort, contentment and quality of life.