Sasha, interesting point-of-view... but I didn’t cry with my ex “wanting what I couldn’t/can't have.” I could have gotten back with her right then... but that would have healed no one. You took my words out of context. What I was elaborating on was... I will always want the best for her as a human and someone I loved deeply. She helped me through well over 10 major surgeries! What kept me returning to the dysfunction was hoping the outcome would be different, but never was. I “wanted” a version of herself that she wasn’t able to give me at that time.

You’re misreading what forgiveness is all about, in my opinion. I didn’t commit an affair or raise red flags, just the opposite... I’m learning what healthy behaviors and boundaries are. I needed this closure, and I needed to forgive in order to be a healthy boyfriend for all my future relationships. I’m no good to myself or anyone, if I can’t get past this.

For the record, yes... I just started dating a woman I really like. It’s very early on. But I’m always transparent so told her and she supported my decision. She also said, I trust you and we all have a past.