Originally Posted by badgerden

I have been reading the threads here and seeing myself in many of the posts so will give a short little back story as an intro. I am an alcoholic, love my wine, been sober 2 years and now realize how much I was using wine to get through my days. Ironic isn't it? using a depressant to fight depression.

I am not suicidal, not self harmful, physically anyway I want to run away, take my dogs and leave, be secluded from everyone. I dream of having my own little she shed that will be mine, no one comes in. I love my husband would never cause him the pain that I would cause if I were to follow through. I dont know,,,,I seem angry all the time, I do not want anyone to talk to me, I dont want to talk to them, avoidance of everything and everyone.

My dr has me on 37.5 Effexor daily, I started taking it with no clue what to expect, should I be instantly happy? suddenly be the life of the party?? no idea I can just tell you that none of the previous have happened. I have been on it for 5 months now, and am going to talk to her about upping the dose (?) or adding something. I have been looking into books to read for self help and watching everything online for this.

Much like getting sober I am going at this on my own, I have tried to talk to my husband about this and he listens for a few minutes than changes the subject, so I just shut up and give up.

So this is my story such as it is, looking forward to reading what others have used to help them. just to put it out there I am not a journal writer, to paranoid about someone reading and knowing how dark my mind and soul are.

Take care all

Badge