helpfultoothers

I reconnected with an old friend who has been sober for 6 years and regularly attends meetings. We hit it off and were texting nonstop. I supported his attendance of meetings, and I wanted to do the 12 steps with him (I know, codependency). I battle an eating disorder and I'm in therapy.

He moved out of state yet I had a feeling he would move back closer to me. At any rate I had some time off from work so we agreed I'd fly up to visit him, and agreed on the date and time. I booked the ticket, and things went well for another week, but he kept saying he was worried that one of us would get hurt and that we should do this as "friends with benefits". But it was obviously more than "friends with benefits", and I told him that since we were having deep talks and he said he had feelings for me.

Then he got a little distant, said he was sick, wasn't finding work, and on New Years Eve just texted me that he was ending it with me, that we agreed one of us get hurt and it was most likely me, and he liked me and couldn't do that to me. Well I was and am hurt as I really liked him. I see memories of football games that we used to text during, and it all floods back. I think that I have to start from scratch yet again to find a man as a life partner, which is what my therapist wants for me.

You would think we could just still be friends. Why be so abrupt with the blocking? To me I feel like I'm some sort of psychopath with that. And now his close friend found out and wants to get physical with me with the similar frequent texting. I'm so raw that his friend is my only reminder of him.

Is there any hope that he'll return? Last year I dated a former cocaine user who blocked and unblocked me nonstop, so I don't want to go through that again. I just miss the meth user in recovery so much that it's ridiculously painful, even more painful than men I was with in real life.

It also sucks that I'm stuck with this plane ticket and charges for changing it. Why be so abrupt and block me?