Old 01-19-2020, 06:37 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Gmatn
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by One23 View Post
A few of my family members whole life and perspective is based on Church/Bible. They persistently try to convert me. I believe it's attraction rather than promotion and that God helps those who can help themselves.

I have continued to ignore them when topic comes up or change topics. But the conversion talk is not is not stopping. When I refuse to allow them to pray for me (with me there), or refuse to say grace, they claim they "love" me and "God bless" me; but they know absolutely nothing about me except the mis-information my parents (on rare occasions by the way, when I was absent during my using day) relayed to them.

When I briefly mentioned to my cousin that I make 12-step meetings he rolled his eyes and gave a demeaning smirk. When I went on Holiday with my Aunt, she did things long-winded prayers before each drive, but continued to drive 85 mph while switching lanes. It's not just he family, I was a practicing Buddhist for a few years and left when I was not encouraged to stop taking meds or leave in therapy; and I had a Muslim NA sponsor who told me it's about change and that I had to get off my meds to be clean. All these beliefs seem very hocus-pocus to me and condescending.


I guess the gift of recovery is that I show up, and have more patience and tolerance. I coming to I guess. I notice the part I played. Yes I wish there was a magical quick way to get off psych meds. Yes i wish I had an easier life, inward and outward; and maybe Jesus could help. Yes I'm sensitive and impressionable without really sticking up for myself because I'm guilty and ashamed of still abusing tobacco. But i'm in a depressed funk and no longer feel good about my own spirituality. I'm starting to isolate and feel hopeless again (I'm eating/smoking like crazy again).


My therapist and sponsor told me not to let people rent space in my head, and the most important thing are my career goals/caretaking for cancer patient (my mom). If they aren't paying rent or providing food, F them. But I do not want that perspective, because that's like rooted in more anger and hatred.

anybody have this experience around year 4/5 or sobriety. I feel like my life speaks for itself where I do not need these types of comments or direction.
The Big Book says in We Agnostics, "We hope that you will not be prejudiced for as long as some of us were." It sounds like you have a nice open mind. I'm glad for you.
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