Originally Posted by
fishkiller 
Yeah I don't care how many days it's been or will be. I just don't want to drink again, ever.
Sitting here this morning fighting what y'all call the AV.
Stupid thoughts about things and scenarios that may or may not happen.
Before I would just wonder why I am thinking about this **** when it isn't real. The AV makes perfect sense.
It's telling me right now, "why bother? you probably won't make it anyway so stop torturing yourself"
"What are you going to do in this situation?"
"What about this?" "what about that?"
Everyone of us has worried about our future as a sober person and how we'll do this or that.
The short answer is it all works out.
I had to make a lot of changes - but I don't regret them.
I'm happier now than I gave ever been, I am more productive, more engaged with the people I love, and I'm not ashamed to look myself in the eyes in the mirror anymore.
Oddly enough I fear telling people I am quitting.
Everyone I know is aware of my taste for alcohol and probably think I am hopeless and will drink till I die. So everyone, especially my parents, will probably be happy about it.
I think it is more of a fear of failure and letting them down if I don't make it. Which the more I think about it that is the AV again.
Damn she is a persistent b
You can tell them all or tell noone. I don't think its as big a determinant as we think.
I decided in change and change it was.
I lost a lot of drinking buddies. They just stopped calling and altho that hurt, it is what it is. The only real glue we had was a shard addiction.
Most of my real friends, even the hard drinking ones, supported me cos they were seriously worried I was gonna die.
Outside of them, the plain truth is noone really cared if I was drinking or not.
I had these long detailed mental essays prepared on why I stopped drinking and peoples eyes would glaze over...lol
I spent all day yesterday and have been here since 7am reading and I feel better about this forum than any others I've been on.
I felt that way too. I stayed
Someone asked about my plan and if AA was an option.
I really do not like the thought I am powerless over anything which seems to be a core of AA, admitting you are powerless over alcohol.
This has always been an issue for me with AA. I am not knocking it in anyway it just doesn't fit my personality I guess you could say.
While reading earlier I stumbled upon a post about AVRT, not sure exactly what it stands for yet but it really hit me.
This is more my style, look at it and punch it in the face.
So for now my plan is to study up on AVRT and work it.
Thanks for posting in my thread
I really appreciate everyone's time
I'm not in any group or follow any one method, so whatever works for you is great
Glad to have you aboard!
D