fishkiller

Started at around 14yo and was a daily drinker by about 18yo.
I am 50

I went 2 weeks sober right before the holidays but once the festivities started I am now back where I was like I never missed a beat. No surprise as I have attempted to quit a few times before with same results.

I am recently retired and have had a lot of time to think. This has been good and bad.

It hit me the other day that my daughter will be 27 in a couple weeks and she has never known me sober. This hurts my soul.
She is one of the most beautiful and kind souls I know and I have made her life more difficult than it needed to be because of my drinking. Writing this hurts. phk

I now have a 1 1/2 yo granddaughter with another on the way!

They all live in England right now but are coming to stay with us by the end of the summer.
I don't want my grandbabies to know me this way.

Alcohol consumes way too much of my life and I want it to stop.

So whoever has the magic wand please wave it and make me not a drunk anymore.
Thanks

thomas11

I fell over the holidays as well after a long time. I'm afraid there is no magic wand. Sobriety is a wholesale life change. But it can be done, just read all the success stories on this forum. They are inspiring.

Surrendered19

You did the two weeks which is big, so you sort of know the drill. Welcome to SR and you'll find lots and lots of support here. Do you have some support that you can turn to? AA works incredibly well for so many people. I am part of a support group (not AA), I come on this site and read and try to support others every day. Good to have a plan on how to stay sober. I really try to focus on exercise and nutrition. I also realized right away that I needed to accept the fact that my head was so much more quiet and clear and for many more hours of every day. You simply are going to have WAY more time on your hands than you can believe. Don't get "bored", but rather develop ways to weave that into your life, including feeling free to sit there and do nothing at all for an hour. Just enjoy the peace and silence.

fishkiller

The magic wand was a joke.
I know it is on me.
I have been reading this site since early this morning when I found it. This is what led me to post. I want what they got.

Thanks for taking the time to reply

fishkiller

The worst part is those 2 weeks were great. Of course I had thoughts, cravings, etc. but I was enjoying the real sleep and feeling good all day without looking at the clock seeing if it was beer 30 yet.

I picked back up because that is what we do as a family when we get together. How stupid is that?


Thanks for replying

Surrendered19

That will be a great part of your plan to get fleshed out right away fishkiller. If drinking is a big part of your family culture, you have to get that one figured out. That will look different in every family. Is your family supportive or would they be if they don't know yet? Maybe have some booze-free family get togethers for a year or two. If that just isn't going to happen, have a plan to stay sober during those events. Your alcoholic voice will be RAGING and telling you just what you said. "That is what we do as a family when we get together."

jr67

Welcome fishkiller.

Yeah, most people find "just quitting" "just doesn't cut it."

I was lucky enough to find this site 9 days ago, and I'm still figuring out some of its features, but so far I haven't found the button you push in order to call up the magic wand. If the rest of them know where it is, they're not telling me.

So what's Plan B? Do you have a specific plan for stopping? Is today your Day Zero? You gotta start with that. Now that I think about it, that is such a universal rule that one might almost call it a magic wand.

It's Day 14 for me. My plan is still evolving. So far, so good, but it's not one size fits all.

Speaking of numbers, you are 50 and retired? And you raised a beautiful and kind soul? You must be doing something right. Just continue that, but subtract the ethanol. Easier said than done, I know, I know.

Have you tried AA or one of the other IRL groups? Planning to? Or what?

Once again welcome. Poke around the SR site, I've been doing that for 9 days and learning tons. You may want to join the Class of January 2020 forum. Entrance requirements: Show up.

fishkiller

Thanks for that!
I seem to forget very quickly how fortunate I am.

I've done AA forums and read the Big Book a while back but didn't do much for me. Maybe time to revisit? idk

What is an IRL?

rc29

I'll always suggest trying a meeting. Give it a whirl and listen for things that you can relate to. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Abraham

I to started at 14 and was a daily drinker at about 18 and drank till I was almost 48. I quit a month before that birthday. Not sure how magical it is but I'm waiving my wand. Please quit. Personally I just got way to sick of being hammered by 4 or earlier and not able to go out and do anything. My daughter is 10 and I could not be more happy that I have stopped drinking for 7 months now and am done for good. You drank long enough. Just tough it out and dont pick up a drink and drink. Do that for a month or so and it will get easier and easier. Come here alot and let us boost your motivation. I found that by coming here it helped change my mindset and I took it as a personal challenge to quit. It worked. Just make up your mind that you are done and make it happen. You will not regret I guarantee you. Best of luck to you.

Dee74

Welcome fishkiller

This community really helped me turn my life around and keep it that way - you've landed in the right place (no pun intended)

January thread is here - like jr said - all you need to do to join is post
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-2-a-2.html
D

fishkiller

Thanks

Like you I am just sick of being drunk and tired all the time but after 30+ years I don't know much else. Much better things to be doing with my time.
I just need to crack this nut but it is a hard one for sure.

Congrats on 7 months

fishkiller

Thanks Dee

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome. Sorry to tell you, but there is no magic wand.
Sobriety takes work and dedication and willingness.
I also started drinking a fourteen, and drank like an alcoholic for the next thirty five odd years.
For the last ten of those I was trying to quit or moderate. Imagine the frustration. I couldn't quit. I needed help. I asked for it. It came.

It took me awhile and a lot of relapses but I never gave up trying.
You have a lot of reasons to stay sober.
Please don't wait until you hit the bottoms I did. And there were many.
I used AA, but there are other programs as those here will attest.

I hope you choose a path of recovery and avail yourself to the help that is waiting for you.
I've now been sober over eleven years, and I was a very bad case of alcoholism.
Redemption and recovery is possible. People here are successfully doing it.
You can, too.
You'll have to do the leg work. Put as much time into recovering as you do into procuring, imbibing and recovering from alcohol at first.
Things will hopefully fall into place a little more for you.
Best to you. I understand.

SoberRican

Hello and welcome. You at the right place if you want a sober boost. Hey we get it. Just take it one day at a time. Trust me you will get use to it. Just got to watch the withdrawal part.. Once you get thru that. You golden. I promise you. ✌

Abraham

Its tough but its not that tough. the booze makes you think its alot harder than it really is. You wont miss it. There is nothing to worry about. We all think how will I do without, what will I do etc... You go on with life in about the same way except you feel alot better and save more money because you aint buying booze. You really wont miss it. I promise you. Quite the contrary in fact. Just tell yourself you aint going to drink and dont go buy or drink booze. Its tough for a week (which will fly by(time flys drinking or not))or so then it starts getting easier and easier. It can be done. Lots of us have done it you can do it as well. Its just about changing that nasty habit. Change your habit of drinking. Save some money, save your health and watch your life get better in alot of ways you could not ever have imagined. I'm dead serious. I was drinking at 7am till about 7pm. I was mega buzzed by the time I took my daughter to school at 830am. So if I can do it so can you. Plus not to mention there are alot of folks, like ghostlight and dee and others who were probably in a tougher spot than me who did it. You can too. Check out the "stories of recovery" section of this forum and check out some of their stories. I find them highly motivational. But seriously, it sounds like you have got way to good at drinking. Time to retire and let someone else take over that bad habit.

fishkiller

Thanks

This is not my 1st attempt at slowing down or quitting so I know the frustration well.

jr67

Has anyone answered this question for you yet, fishkill?

Answer: in real life

I "never" (well, almost never) post on social media these days (except this website since last week if this counts as social media). I just learned IRL here, over the weekend.

So fish, is today your Day Zero?

fishkiller

no.
tomorrow

jr67

Well, someone's last day of drinking is Day Zero, and first day of sobriety is Day 1. So you're drinking tomorrow and quitting after that?