Originally Posted by
clowery0508 
So just a quick update. After his trip he promised me all the things. It’s gonna be better. I’m gonna quit. You know all the things to suck you right back in. And of course I’m crazy and fell for it all.
Anyways, things really did go good for a few days. Then he fell right back in. Drunk Sunday called into work on Monday (drunk all day) decided Tuesday (today) he needed another day to recover and try to straighten himself out. So called into work again.
So I go into work (which is right down from my house) he calls around lunch. Let me take you to lunch. I say ok. He shows up. Of course he makes me drive. I knew immediately he was drinking. I get in the car take off and he starts with the slurring I’m sorrys. I’m gonna get back on track. I don’t know why I do this. He is so drunk he can barely talk.
I said let’s just go thru a drive thru. I really don’t wanna go inside. He said I’m not going thru a drive thru just take me home. Fast forward. We go back to my work. Which is where his mom is. We work together. Just during tax season. Anyways. I walk in and say he’s drunk we just came back. He walks in sits down with her. Next thing I know she calls me in to her office and said he wants help. She loads him up and they go to an addiction urgent care facility. Which they are supposed to keep him for 24 hours. Then transfer him to a detox facility.
I didn’t go with him. He hugged me bye and apologized. He was crying. His mom was crying. I felt happy he was going. But I had no emotion whatsoever.
he called me before they took his phone. I told him I was proud of him and wanted him to get better.
his mom called me when she left him. She was crying so bad. I feel bad that I feel so cold toward this. I have begged him to get some sort of help. And he’s took a step and I am just empty. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m glad he’s there. But I feel nothing. I feel numb to the whole thing.
I know detox is not something that’s gonna fix everything. I know this. But at least he’s made some sort of effort. His mom thinks this is a fix all. I know it’s not. But I wanna be positive. But I just feel nothing. Is this wrong?? Maybe it will hit me later.
I think the "feeling nothing" is normal. I can attest in many ways. After a while, when the drunk times and residual fallout become the norm and not the exception, this is what we end up focusing on as the person/personality we love, or once loved, is now not the norm but the exception.
However, it seems like over time once we are removed from the situation some, the feelings of love and thoughts about the person we fell in love with come back, its almost like our minds want us to remember the "good" and not the bad. I'm feeling this as we speak. Can't get the thoughts of the good times, laughs and smiles out of my head, while as little as a week ago I felt as you do or did, almost "nothing". It's a very tough journey for sure-