FallenAngelina

I imagine that everyone has experience with this to some degree. What has made an enormous positive difference for me is focusing on identifying and prioritizing my needs and values as opposed to trying to not care what others think. We care about what other people think when we are looking to others for validation. Unless you had extraordinary hippie parents, this training process began as a child. If you grew up in any type of co-dependent situation (alcoholic or not,) this training process has being going on all of your life. It takes quite a bit of effort and re-training to change what feels like a "natural" inclination to look to others for cues about what is important, what to value and for our own self worth. Instead of trying not to care about what others think, you'll likely get a lot more mileage out of discerning what is important for you, how you feel and what is of value to you. The better we get at prioritizing our own values, the less concern we have about what others might possibly be thinking about us.

This is indeed part of the maturity process and hopefully, we get better at it as we get older, but not always. Some of us have to make a point of learning and practicing. What's helped me especially is spending time in community with others who are really good at it.