Hi Jen, All I can say is anxiety is one of the main symptoms of untreated alcoholism. I was frightened of my own shadow. Life had become unbearable, totally miserable and the thought of carrying on as I had been was absolutely horrifying, but I was scared to death of the sober life too. In my experience life without booze had not worked out, in fact I was pretty unhappy sober.
I was scared about AA too. The thought of turning up cold to a meeting, a room full of strangers, was too frightening to contemplate, but having tried everything else, AA was the only cab on the block.
My approach was to call AA and ask to see someone on a one to one basis to have a talk about my situation. I went to see this guy one Sunday afternoon and spent three or four hours with him. At the end of that time I had a much better understanding of things, I had a new friend, and many of my fears had been much reduced. That night I went to my first meeting with him. It was much better than I expected. It sure helped to have a friend with me.
I don't remember that much about that meeting except for one thing. There was an old man named Joe who had a bright yellow bush shirt, white hair, a big smile and he was pleased to see me. That was a new experience.
That was along time ago, and apart from one four day binge three weeks after that meeting, I have been happily sober ever since.