I’m on day four of sobriety. I found this forum in late 2016 when I quit drinking (and lasted 58 days) and I spent a fair bit of time lurking in the Alcoholics forum. I’ve reached a point where I am exhausted all the time and I’m tired of wasting my time and money on drinking. I really let myself go in 2019 and don’t recognise myself anymore. I’ve attempted to quit many times over the last few years and I am feeling strongly now that this is *the time*. It’s New Year’s Eve day and I’ve had a lovely walk along the coastal footpath and have got some soda water chilling in the fridge along with a ginger cordial (it’s non alcoholic, just a ginger syrup to flavour the soda water).

I’m 50 years old. I started drinking around age 18 but didn’t start the nearly daily drinking until my mid 20s and over the last 15 years I’ve been drinking to excess. I still wake up and go to work every day and am well respected in my office. I’m eager to see how much better the sober me is.

Over the last few years I was averaging 2 bottles of bubbles a night, some nights a few beers down the pub first, then the wine at home, some nights only a bottle of wine because I was still feeling crappy from the night before. Along the way I have reset my sobriety app countless times, probably only succeeding at 5 days off the sauce.

What makes this time different? I have done a lot of reflecting over this year and have identified how past traumas have not been properly addressed and have reached some understanding about some deeply damaging personal issues and have also broadened my horizons regarding spirituality and am very intrigued to see how I grow/improve as a person on this path to better health. Forsaking run on sentences.