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Long time lurker, finally jumping in

Old 12-30-2019, 05:22 PM
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Long time lurker, finally jumping in

I’m on day four of sobriety. I found this forum in late 2016 when I quit drinking (and lasted 58 days) and I spent a fair bit of time lurking in the Alcoholics forum. I’ve reached a point where I am exhausted all the time and I’m tired of wasting my time and money on drinking. I really let myself go in 2019 and don’t recognise myself anymore. I’ve attempted to quit many times over the last few years and I am feeling strongly now that this is *the time*. It’s New Year’s Eve day and I’ve had a lovely walk along the coastal footpath and have got some soda water chilling in the fridge along with a ginger cordial (it’s non alcoholic, just a ginger syrup to flavour the soda water).

I’m 50 years old. I started drinking around age 18 but didn’t start the nearly daily drinking until my mid 20s and over the last 15 years I’ve been drinking to excess. I still wake up and go to work every day and am well respected in my office. I’m eager to see how much better the sober me is.

Over the last few years I was averaging 2 bottles of bubbles a night, some nights a few beers down the pub first, then the wine at home, some nights only a bottle of wine because I was still feeling crappy from the night before. Along the way I have reset my sobriety app countless times, probably only succeeding at 5 days off the sauce.

What makes this time different? I have done a lot of reflecting over this year and have identified how past traumas have not been properly addressed and have reached some understanding about some deeply damaging personal issues and have also broadened my horizons regarding spirituality and am very intrigued to see how I grow/improve as a person on this path to better health. Forsaking run on sentences.
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Old 12-30-2019, 05:38 PM
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Welcome to the posting side of things SunnyCoastK
Support, and regularly using it, really made a difference for me

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Old 12-30-2019, 05:44 PM
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Thank you Dee, lovely to “meet” you after all these years! xx
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Old 12-30-2019, 05:47 PM
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Welcome SunnyCoast. I'm living in Day 40 here. First time sober in over 3 decades so you and I are similar creatures. You have been sober longer than I have in the past so you remember what you are missing. We have a new decade coming up. The Roaring 20's. And a new year in that new decade. Let's do this together and hit 2020 sober and clear and calm and on our right roads. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. I am grateful to be here on this site with so many people like Dee, who for reasons I am just beginning to understand, gives so much of his experience and time to us newbies. You have been lurking so you know what I am talking about.
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Old 12-30-2019, 05:48 PM
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Hi SunnyCoastK,
Congrats on Day 4. I'm on Day 5, round 2. Much of what you wrote rings true with me as well. We can do this!
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Old 12-30-2019, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Surrendered19 View Post
Welcome SunnyCoast. I'm living in Day 40 here. First time sober in over 3 decades so you and I are similar creatures. You have been sober longer than I have in the past so you remember what you are missing. We have a new decade coming up. The Roaring 20's. And a new year in that new decade. Let's do this together and hit 2020 sober and clear and calm and on our right roads. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. I am grateful to be here on this site with so many people like Dee, who for reasons I am just beginning to understand, gives so much of his experience and time to us newbies. You have been lurking so you know what I am talking about.

Hello Surrendered19! Congratulations on your 40 days, that is sensational!!! Woohoo! What an achievement, especially after 3 decades of not being sober. I love your enthusiasm and I’m glad for your company :-) looking forward to becoming more involved with everyone.
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Old 12-30-2019, 05:58 PM
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Welcome, SunnyCoastK and Happy New Year to you!

Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.

Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.

While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.

Please stick around.

O
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Wrangler95 View Post
Hi SunnyCoastK,
Congrats on Day 4. I'm on Day 5, round 2. Much of what you wrote rings true with me as well. We can do this!
Hello Wrangler95! Thanks for your message! I’m right behind you, we can do it!! :-) Both Sunday and Monday I had some “unsettling” moments which normally would have seen me hit the bottle shop. But in both instances I took a step back, so to speak, thought about how I wanted to feel and whether either instance was “big enough” to warrant getting upset and seeking comfort through wine and both times I calmly decided NO, drinking was not an option. Amazingly those decisions feel wonderfully supportive :-) Have a lovely day!
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:07 PM
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Hello and Welcome SunnyCoastK,

I am glad you are here! There is a lot of wisdom and support in these forums. It is a safe place to share our experiences, strength and hopes, also to share openly about our worries, I have found much understanding here.

Cathy
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Welcome, SunnyCoastK and Happy New Year to you!

Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.

Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.

While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.

Please stick around.

O
Awwww, hello O!

Thank you for the welcome and Happy New Year to you as well. I’m so glad to have made the decision to register and post today. Until today I didn’t feel worthy of posting or participating, but that was my underlying shame in continually resetting my sobriety counter. I feel there’s been an internal shift where I respect myself now and it feels like the right time in my life to be here. To open my heart, to be vulnerable, to seek a place in this community and to demonstrate to myself that I AM doing this.

Who doesn’t like a run on sentence now and then, and I shouldn’t have used forsaking but it was first post jitters ha ha ha! (And I didn’t say I was a high functioning alcoholic, wink wink!) ;-)

Looking forward to enjoying many sober milestones with you guys!
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Surlyredhead View Post
Hello and Welcome SunnyCoastK,

I am glad you are here! There is a lot of wisdom and support in these forums. It is a safe place to share our experiences, strength and hopes, also to share openly about our worries, I have found much understanding here.

Cathy
Hello Cathy and thank you for your welcome! I’m glad you are here too! :-) I look forward to “seeing” you around.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:16 PM
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SunnyCoast even if you have to reset your sober day count multiple times you belong here and should keep posting here. This beast grabs us and we wrestle with it. The most meaningful posts for me on this site have been folks with years of sobriety drinking again then getting sober again and coming back here. Anyway, I'm not saying that is ever going to happen to you, but now you are here and should stay, come what may.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:29 PM
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How wonderful to know you've been lurking & are now posting.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:30 PM
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Welcome to the family SCK. You'll fit right in.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:43 PM
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Welcome aboard Sunny. I’m 54, have a good job too, and have drank pretty much every day for 15 years. I finally jumped in and registered this fall. I’m at that point in my life where I’ve decided the hangovers and the wasted evenings drinking to get numb is enough. I’m at a point in my life where I want to see what I can be like not hungover every morning, and not drunk every night.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
How wonderful to know you've been lurking & are now posting.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
Hello Hevyn! Thank you for your encouragement and your welcoming words. I’m pretty much blown away with all this kindness, it’s overwhelming in a good way. I am seeing what you mean already about never feeling alone in the struggle. Oh my! :-) Glad to meet you!
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
Welcome to the family SCK. You'll fit right in.
Hello least and thank you for your welcome! :-) I am sooooooo glad to be here!
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Old 12-30-2019, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Sobertoday54 View Post
Welcome aboard Sunny. I’m 54, have a good job too, and have drank pretty much every day for 15 years. I finally jumped in and registered this fall. I’m at that point in my life where I’ve decided the hangovers and the wasted evenings drinking to get numb is enough. I’m at a point in my life where I want to see what I can be like not hungover every morning, and not drunk every night.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
Hello Sobertoday54 and thank you for the welcome! Seems we are in the same boat, I appreciate your company and I know this is something we can do and that we will reap the rewards of sober living. All those reasons apply, good lord the boredom truly applies which is why I’m planning to pick up my crochet project again, hit the library for some great books to read, prepare healthy meals and exercise, lots of things to do other than getting wasted to pass the time.


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Old 12-30-2019, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by SunnyCoastK View Post

Until today I didn’t feel worthy of posting or participating, but that was my underlying shame in continually resetting my sobriety counter.
Well, any lurker worth their salt knows my shame there. Please dispatch with said shame and all thoughts of less-than-worthiness posthaste. This place is here because we intends to never ever reset but understand it happens. Repeatedly for some.

I shouldn’t have used forsaking but it was first post jitters
I'll see your forsaking and already raised you a posthaste. ha, yourself!

(And I didn’t say I was a high functioning alcoholic, wink wink!) ;-)
Mere words cannot express my gratitude.

Looking forward to enjoying many sober milestones with you guys!
Yeah! Let's ROCK n ROLL!
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Old 01-01-2020, 02:54 PM
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Hoping it's going good for you, Sunny.
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