Long time lurker, finally jumping in
Long time lurker, finally jumping in
I’m on day four of sobriety. I found this forum in late 2016 when I quit drinking (and lasted 58 days) and I spent a fair bit of time lurking in the Alcoholics forum. I’ve reached a point where I am exhausted all the time and I’m tired of wasting my time and money on drinking. I really let myself go in 2019 and don’t recognise myself anymore. I’ve attempted to quit many times over the last few years and I am feeling strongly now that this is *the time*. It’s New Year’s Eve day and I’ve had a lovely walk along the coastal footpath and have got some soda water chilling in the fridge along with a ginger cordial (it’s non alcoholic, just a ginger syrup to flavour the soda water).
I’m 50 years old. I started drinking around age 18 but didn’t start the nearly daily drinking until my mid 20s and over the last 15 years I’ve been drinking to excess. I still wake up and go to work every day and am well respected in my office. I’m eager to see how much better the sober me is.
Over the last few years I was averaging 2 bottles of bubbles a night, some nights a few beers down the pub first, then the wine at home, some nights only a bottle of wine because I was still feeling crappy from the night before. Along the way I have reset my sobriety app countless times, probably only succeeding at 5 days off the sauce.
What makes this time different? I have done a lot of reflecting over this year and have identified how past traumas have not been properly addressed and have reached some understanding about some deeply damaging personal issues and have also broadened my horizons regarding spirituality and am very intrigued to see how I grow/improve as a person on this path to better health. Forsaking run on sentences.
I’m 50 years old. I started drinking around age 18 but didn’t start the nearly daily drinking until my mid 20s and over the last 15 years I’ve been drinking to excess. I still wake up and go to work every day and am well respected in my office. I’m eager to see how much better the sober me is.
Over the last few years I was averaging 2 bottles of bubbles a night, some nights a few beers down the pub first, then the wine at home, some nights only a bottle of wine because I was still feeling crappy from the night before. Along the way I have reset my sobriety app countless times, probably only succeeding at 5 days off the sauce.
What makes this time different? I have done a lot of reflecting over this year and have identified how past traumas have not been properly addressed and have reached some understanding about some deeply damaging personal issues and have also broadened my horizons regarding spirituality and am very intrigued to see how I grow/improve as a person on this path to better health. Forsaking run on sentences.
Welcome SunnyCoast. I'm living in Day 40 here. First time sober in over 3 decades so you and I are similar creatures. You have been sober longer than I have in the past so you remember what you are missing. We have a new decade coming up. The Roaring 20's. And a new year in that new decade. Let's do this together and hit 2020 sober and clear and calm and on our right roads. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. I am grateful to be here on this site with so many people like Dee, who for reasons I am just beginning to understand, gives so much of his experience and time to us newbies. You have been lurking so you know what I am talking about.
Welcome SunnyCoast. I'm living in Day 40 here. First time sober in over 3 decades so you and I are similar creatures. You have been sober longer than I have in the past so you remember what you are missing. We have a new decade coming up. The Roaring 20's. And a new year in that new decade. Let's do this together and hit 2020 sober and clear and calm and on our right roads. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing. I am grateful to be here on this site with so many people like Dee, who for reasons I am just beginning to understand, gives so much of his experience and time to us newbies. You have been lurking so you know what I am talking about.
Hello Surrendered19! Congratulations on your 40 days, that is sensational!!! Woohoo! What an achievement, especially after 3 decades of not being sober. I love your enthusiasm and I’m glad for your company :-) looking forward to becoming more involved with everyone.
Welcome, SunnyCoastK and Happy New Year to you!
Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.
Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.
While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.
Please stick around.
O
Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.
Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.
While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.
Please stick around.
O
Hello Wrangler95! Thanks for your message! I’m right behind you, we can do it!! :-) Both Sunday and Monday I had some “unsettling” moments which normally would have seen me hit the bottle shop. But in both instances I took a step back, so to speak, thought about how I wanted to feel and whether either instance was “big enough” to warrant getting upset and seeking comfort through wine and both times I calmly decided NO, drinking was not an option. Amazingly those decisions feel wonderfully supportive :-) Have a lovely day!
Hello and Welcome SunnyCoastK,
I am glad you are here! There is a lot of wisdom and support in these forums. It is a safe place to share our experiences, strength and hopes, also to share openly about our worries, I have found much understanding here.
Cathy
I am glad you are here! There is a lot of wisdom and support in these forums. It is a safe place to share our experiences, strength and hopes, also to share openly about our worries, I have found much understanding here.
Cathy
Welcome, SunnyCoastK and Happy New Year to you!
Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.
Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.
While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.
Please stick around.
O
Having lurked, you already know what a fine diverse group of supportive folks frequent these halls. I am certain you will find it even more so now that you've taken the dive and presented yourself.
Recognizing how you've been burying your past hurts in alcohol is an enormous stride in the right direction. It's something I've always known, but didn't really fully understand because I didn't have the capacity to put it all together.
While I'm usually fussy about grammar, punctuation, and run-on sentences, I try to give myself a break here and most certainly will give you a pass! But I do like it that you care - I sense we'll get along swimmingly.
Please stick around.
O
Thank you for the welcome and Happy New Year to you as well. I’m so glad to have made the decision to register and post today. Until today I didn’t feel worthy of posting or participating, but that was my underlying shame in continually resetting my sobriety counter. I feel there’s been an internal shift where I respect myself now and it feels like the right time in my life to be here. To open my heart, to be vulnerable, to seek a place in this community and to demonstrate to myself that I AM doing this.
Who doesn’t like a run on sentence now and then, and I shouldn’t have used forsaking but it was first post jitters ha ha ha! (And I didn’t say I was a high functioning alcoholic, wink wink!) ;-)
Looking forward to enjoying many sober milestones with you guys!
Hello Cathy and thank you for your welcome! I’m glad you are here too! :-) I look forward to “seeing” you around.
SunnyCoast even if you have to reset your sober day count multiple times you belong here and should keep posting here. This beast grabs us and we wrestle with it. The most meaningful posts for me on this site have been folks with years of sobriety drinking again then getting sober again and coming back here. Anyway, I'm not saying that is ever going to happen to you, but now you are here and should stay, come what may.
How wonderful to know you've been lurking & are now posting.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
Welcome aboard Sunny. I’m 54, have a good job too, and have drank pretty much every day for 15 years. I finally jumped in and registered this fall. I’m at that point in my life where I’ve decided the hangovers and the wasted evenings drinking to get numb is enough. I’m at a point in my life where I want to see what I can be like not hungover every morning, and not drunk every night.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
How wonderful to know you've been lurking & are now posting.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
Congratulations on your 4 sober days. We're so glad to have you with us, SunnyCoast. I didn't really think belonging to SR would make much difference. I was so reluctant to participate in the beginning, but it has meant the world. To never feel alone with the struggle is everything.
Welcome aboard Sunny. I’m 54, have a good job too, and have drank pretty much every day for 15 years. I finally jumped in and registered this fall. I’m at that point in my life where I’ve decided the hangovers and the wasted evenings drinking to get numb is enough. I’m at a point in my life where I want to see what I can be like not hungover every morning, and not drunk every night.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
If I can do this, so can you. Take it a day at a time, and you’ll figure out the reasons why you drink as it comes. Could be like me you’re hiding from your past, or sometimes bored, or some other reason.
You’re in a good place here.
Well, any lurker worth their salt knows my shame there. Please dispatch with said shame and all thoughts of less-than-worthiness posthaste. This place is here because we intends to never ever reset but understand it happens. Repeatedly for some.
I'll see your forsaking and already raised you a posthaste. ha, yourself!
Mere words cannot express my gratitude.
Yeah! Let's ROCK n ROLL!
I shouldn’t have used forsaking but it was first post jitters
(And I didn’t say I was a high functioning alcoholic, wink wink!) ;-)
Looking forward to enjoying many sober milestones with you guys!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)