Big hugs sent to you - the only words of “wisdom” I can give you are the same ones everyone has been giving to me (this is the first holiday without my long term AXB - and I miss him terribly and worry). Please be kind to yourself today, do things that relax you, eat things that you love, and do whatever you feel like, even if that is just watching bad tv or sleeping. Personally, I’m pretty much just treating today like any other day. Although I miss my ex, I also found out in the end that he was not the person I thought he was/not reliable, and the one comfort I have is telling myself that although it’s painful now, I’m probably being saved from a lot more pain in the future. I’m very sorry for your loss 4 months ago as well, it’s all just incredibly hard this time of year especially.