Just got back from the animal hospital. My beloved dog is doing a little bit better.
A few things: the doctor on call last night gave us completely wrong information. We were googling at-home euthanasia when the vet tech called for an update, said she had pancreatitis and that her liver enzymes were fine. So, I guess the doctor last night who insisted my dog was jaundiced (and that we didn't know how to use our eyes) was wrong or lying. My dog is advanced in age, so I know this is really borrowed time, but we would like to care for her comfort and wellbeing in the short term.
So, I learned something from this. In the past, even when I was abstinent, but not working on internal issues, I would have blown up at the doctor, or even worse, I may have been impulsive and malleable and would have euthanized her based on his contradictory information. It's only been 20 days and I am so much better off than I was at the beginning of the month. There is no substitute for being a sober grown-up who can handle life. Things may change with my dog over the holidays, but whatever happens, I know I did good.