I'm living Day 30 sober after 30 years - 10 of abusing alcohol, another 10 a serious alcoholic and another 10 a friggin insane alcoholic. I refuse to believe that there is no redemption. Maybe the only thing we can accomplish WL is to wander this earth at peace instead of poisoned. I am lucky that I have sought out some support and have people who care about me but most days I am alone. People in my life learned that to be around me for the last few decades meant chaos and misery. That is what I did to myself and to them. I have concluded that alone and clear and calm is good enough. I go through the days now finding things, little things, that make me happy and I really try to focus on those things. I am content with being alone and I know I have made my bed. Even alone we can live lives of meaning. I am reaching out in small ways to make connections.