Originally Posted by
Anaya 
So as far as "only a therapist with experience in this.." That's what I've learned doing research, that unless a therapist is aware of and experienced (re: NPD), couples doing the narcissistic and codependency dance while going for marriage counseling might possibly prove disastrous (e.g., the "narcissist" actively manipulating the sessions and so further punishing the spouse).
Absolutely and that is also pretty much the take on marriage counselling with an alcoholic.
Of course where alcoholism and NPD divide is that some, not all, alcoholics can heal from this narcissism or at least improve their thinking on the subject if they choose to do so, in recovery, with help.
True NPD is pretty much impossible to come back from. The nature of the mental illness doesn't really allow for healing and in those rare cases where it is acknowledged and help sought, the results are not hopeful for any real change in behaviour and in fact might prove mentally harmful to the narcissist.
Originally Posted by
mylifeismine I hope I never
meet someone who is in the severe range.
They have different approaches I think, from my experience. The narcissist I dated was of the, I will mirror her and provide here with good stuff so she won't want to leave! (didn't work).
My ex worked with a very severe very destructive narcissist, for a few years.
During that period the guy managed to destroy my ex's place in the company, by undermining him at every turn, backstabbing, lying by taking in the owner (who was, of course, not aware of what was going on).
He couldn't stand the fact that the ex was favoured by the owner.
Long (long) story short, he ended up (the NPD person) owning half the company. Horrible, miserable place to work, more like a work camp than an office.
Finally the ex decided to quit, he couldn't stand it anymore. As you all know, you can't fight an narc because they will ALWAYS go further than you would because they have no scruples about winner takes all.
Good ending to the story - he almost immediately found a comparable job (pay wise), with a good company, doing work he really enjoys.