>>The issue is its a TON of stress for very little reward. Or well my ability to deal with stress maybe isnt good enough so maybe its not a lot for some but for me it is and i'm struggling.<<
Life is not fair, easy or painless and we will never always get what we want. Discomfort is the price of admission if you want to have a meaningful life. The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. The number-one contributor to growth is difficult circumstances.
You can do this and you know it! You are in a growth spurt! We can’t control all our circumstances, but we can control how we think about our circumstances and how we respond.
Mathew 11:28 "Come to me all those who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."