Yes, messed up, I was trying to soften that lol
I'm glad you are getting a little peace with your computer and your drink and I hope it continues that way for you, peace and happiness.
Have you read codependent no more? Have you been to Al Anon at all?
I ask because both those things are a really good way to learn about boundaries and protecting yourself.
When you come from a household (for whatever reason whether that is abuse or alcoholism or misogyny, or just the way people are) it's natural to (sometimes) get in to a relationship where you are giving and giving. It's what you know, it's comfortable. Yes, even abuse can be comfortable. It's maddening and frustrating and hurtful but it's still what you know. I speak from experience here.
You read here sometimes of someone telling someone of their story with an alcoholic and a therapist or friend looking at them like - you put up with what!? It's hard to understand for people who haven't experienced it.
But once you have been through that, two things happen. You know it's not comfortable and you don't want it, you tighten up boundaries, you know that a healthy relationship will be so much better.