Dreading the holidays
This is my first time posting. Actually this is my first time ever reaching out to anyone besides my sister. I am 23 years old and my father is an alcoholic, has been for about 7 years now. I've known the whole time but I just kept thinking he could change and "this wasn't really him." I'm starting to lose hope. '
Last Christmas was horrible. He ruined it for everyone. Christmas Eve he went to the bar and showed up two hours late when all of our family came over. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, he was so drunk that he passed out while he was standing up and fell flat on his back onto the floor. It was so akward in front of the whole family. Then the next morning when we were opening presents instead of going for the cup of coffee he used to (about 5 years ago) he went straight for the beer. It was 10 in the morning!! That did it. I grabbed the beer out of his hand and gave him a cup of coffee instead, but he refused it and went to get another beer. About an hour later I decided I wasn't going to stand around and let him drink on Christmas morning in front of my little sisters so I threw all his beer outside in the snow and told him we were going to leave if he drank anymore. I told him he embarrassed us enough the night before and if he loved his family he would resist drinking, if only for that one day. For some reason I was actually surprised when he chose the alcohol over us. At noon me, my mom and my 5 younger siblings packed up and left him.
Of course the rest of the family went back to him a couple days later without consequence (my mother is a huge enabler). I didn't go home for thanksgiving this year because nothing has changed and I didn't want to deal with the stress that comes along with him drinking during the holidays. Now, I am wondering if I should skip Christmas too.
The sad thing is I have a 4 month old daughter and I want him to be part of her life. But lately I'd rather spend time with my in-laws where things seem somewhat normal. I feel like I am replacing my old family with a new one. Should I confront him about all my issues... I was thinking about writing him a letter.