Maresy……..on this forum , "guilt" is mentioned thousands ...thousands.... of times by spouses in your exact situation....
This makes me wonder....I really don't think that ourlanguage gives us many words to accurately describe the various emotions that we can feel.
As a result, I think that we may, actually, mislabel some emotions....
I suspect, that we might take the intense sadness and compassion that often accompany divorce...and call it "guilt".....
I don't know if this is true....but, it is something that I have thought about, a lot.....
Of course, there can be other reasons for feeling "guilty".....when one has not actually done anything wrong.....
I think that one is that a person may have a very overbearing Superego....resulting from overly demanding standards by ones caretakers in the early years...so, that when ever anything appears to go wrong...one responds in a reflex feeling of guilt or shame.....
And, I also think that those with co-dependency tendencies....and not enough self esteem of their own...tend to believe those who may, unfairly, try to heap blame onto us that we don't deserve....we actually may buy the bill of goods that they try to sell us....
These are just some thoughts that go through my head when the subject of guilt comes up......