[QUOTE=SmallButMighty;7325381]*hugs* for you hearthealth
I remember when I got to that "done" feeling. It's hard to explain. It was a weird, uncomfortable, sad calmness after all the exhausting turmoil of trying to hold together the chaos for so long. Like a great big burden was lifted, yet left me feeling vulnerable without it. It took some adjusting to.
Oh my, yes. It's that moment when you finally...FINALLY...realize that nothing you do will stop the alcoholic from drinking. Not the screaming fights, not the threats, not the searching for bottles and dumping the vodka down the drain, not even hiding the credit cards and cash. The alcoholic will always find a way!
I remember my final evening with him...his screaming at and berating me in the front yard while I tried to hold a ladder for him. He toppled off while the stunned neighbors watched. I spent the rest of the evening in the basement, alone, while he was upstairs demeaning me for hours about God knows what.
The difference? For once, I was quiet. I didn't justify, argue, defend, or explain. I was just silent, and (for me) remarkably calm. I could see he was spinning out of control, ready to go down the drain, and I wasn't about to go with him.
That giant light bulb...that moment of epiphany...is telling you something powerful. It's a sudden, calm, collected realization that can save your sanity, maybe even your life. See it! Listen to it!