Originally Posted by
One23 
A few of my family members whole life and perspective is based on Church/Bible. They persistently try to convert me. I believe it's attraction rather than promotion and that God helps those who can help themselves.
I have continued to ignore them when topic comes up or change topics. But the conversion talk is not is not stopping. When I refuse to allow them to pray for me (with me there), or refuse to say grace, they claim they "love" me and "God bless" me; but they know absolutely nothing about me except the mis-information my parents (on rare occasions by the way, when I was absent during my using day) relayed to them.
When I briefly mentioned to my cousin that I make 12-step meetings he rolled his eyes and gave a demeaning smirk. When I went on Holiday with my Aunt, she did things long-winded prayers before each drive, but continued to drive 85 mph while switching lanes. It's not just he family, I was a practicing Buddhist for a few years and left when I was not encouraged to stop taking meds or leave in therapy; and I had a Muslim NA sponsor who told me it's about change and that I had to get off my meds to be clean. All these beliefs seem very hocus-pocus to me and condescending.
I guess the gift of recovery is that I show up, and have more patience and tolerance. I coming to I guess. I notice the part I played. Yes I wish there was a magical quick way to get off psych meds. Yes i wish I had an easier life, inward and outward; and maybe Jesus could help. Yes I'm sensitive and impressionable without really sticking up for myself because I'm guilty and ashamed of still abusing tobacco. But i'm in a depressed funk and no longer feel good about my own spirituality. I'm starting to isolate and feel hopeless again (I'm eating/smoking like crazy again).
My therapist and sponsor told me not to let people rent space in my head, and the most important thing are my career goals/caretaking for cancer patient (my mom). If they aren't paying rent or providing food, F them. But I do not want that perspective, because that's like rooted in more anger and hatred.
anybody have this experience around year 4/5 or sobriety. I feel like my life speaks for itself where I do not need these types of comments or direction.
Personally, I think it is is healthy that I stay on civil terms with my siblings and other family members. I'm not going to pretend I can write them off and not be affected. There is just too much history.
But this doesn't mean I can't set up boundaries. I understand when I get together with family members buttons will be pushed. However, because I am sober I can navigate the situation, leave and then complain to my wife on the way home.
Point is I didn't say anything that I regret and I won't see any of them again for another couple of years.
Which is fine by me.