I think I've been more emotional the last month. Like learning about deceased EXAH has opened an emotional dam. I've cried so many times (I'm a pretty stoic person in public) mostly in my car or at home. Full honesty, I picked up cyber stalking the EXABF (I know it's not healthy). I know he is dating someone and she seems like a decent person (she made a statement that the world needs more Mr Rogers, which I totally agree with but EXABF isn't anywhere close to that). I don't want him back as he was, but a part of me wants him alone pining over me. Arghh! I've felt so pathetic this month.
I changed my hair because sometimes new hair makes me feel better. Now I have stripey highlights, which wasn't the goal. I'm taking a weekend trip to visit a friend in Chicago. Maybe a change of scenery will improve my mood? I should make another appointment with my counselor, but I went to 2 appointments and just wasn't feeling it. I appreciate all of your words of support and perspective here in the forum.