Hello Geneva
I'm glad you made it to Al-Anon. I relate to much of what you post.
In my home meeting some years ago, many of us were uncomfortable with the "God" word. We tried an experiment one night. As we read from the literature each of us changed the "G" word to a word more comfortable for us. There were many variations ..... higher power, mother nature, the universe, god how I understand god, chi, the cosmos, unseen forces working for the higher good .... and so on. In the end we all decided that G.O.D. was a nice easy short version of something that we all understand as Good Oderly Direction. We've used the god word ever since.
I'm not suggesting you ask your whole meeting to change the word but you could change it in your head every time it comes up and see if it takes the discomfort away for you.
Also they say in Al-Anon, come to six meetings before you decide it's not for you.