I need help
There. I said it.
I drink every day. At least a bottle of wine. Plus I've been drinking way too much vodka.
My husband has no idea that I sneak glups of vodka during our time together at home. I even take vodka on business trips.
Lately, I've been causing a lot of problems for myself. I drank a whole bottle of wine before going to a dinner party...then drinking several glasses there. Which you can image the result.
I drink before business presentations. Just to give me courage and personality. I'm really afraid that my coworkers are going to catch on.
I have been wasted 50% of the time the last several weeks. Easily.
A couple of months ago I did stop drinking for two weeks... which were the best two weeks of my life. The sad part is that the reason I stopped drinking is because I was having heath problems. Once the doctors determined that I was going to be OK, I started drinking again. I am so mad at myself.
I know that I am too ashamed and frightened to go to AA.
Plus I am a closest drinker... so no one has any idea of how much I drink, or that I have a problem. And I want to keep it that way... I don't want anyone to know. Even my husband.
Is there a strong book out there to give me a swift kick in the butt? Or any other advise? I just really want to give this a shot and succeed.
Thank you.