This song has helped many times in empowering me, shifting my focus and knowing many others have dealt with this.
It ain't me. Kygo and Selena Gomez
https://youtu.be/D5drYkLiLI8
One day at a time, more is revealed. If you decide to buy a gift, perhaps it'll wind up with good thoughts and prayers going with it to an unknown home in a donation box. Weird, good things can happen with recovery actions.
There are no mistakes. We get to be human and feel all our emotions.